Highbrow Humor

A List of Clever Jokes

Joshua Hehe


(Image Source: Rich Vintage/Getty Images)

Although most philosophers don’t really talk about comedy that much, there are some really funny things that have been said throughout the ages. In fact, according to the famous logician Ludwig Wittgenstein, “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” I think he was kidding though. Then again, maybe not. Either way, the point is that I have heard some really good highbrow humor in my life. With that being said, I would like to share some of those jokes with you now. So, here goes nothing.

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Don’t know, don’t care.

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

Why didn’t the wave-particle cross the road?

Because it was already on both sides.

A Zen student asked his master, “Is it OK to use email?”

“Yes,” came the reply, “But no attachments.”

A mathematician and an engineer both took part in an experiment.

They were placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked lady.

The experimenter told them that every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.

The mathematician stormed off, but the engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.

On his way out, the mathematician exclaimed, “Don’t you see you’ll never actually reach her.”

“So what?”, replied the engineer, “Pretty soon I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes.”

Why are quantum physicists terrible in bed?

Because when they find the position, they don’t have the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

A mathematician came home one night at 3 a.m. and immediately got an earful from her…